Total Eclipse of the Point

This spry yellow car is the 2011 Mitsubishi Eclipse. This car is really cool!........if you happen to be 17. For anybody else in the know, it's a joke wrapped in sheetmetal. The car goes out of it's way to badge itself as a  GT. It has a large V-6 motor in it with no assist from turbochargers. The powerplant actually isn't terrible. But the effect is lost in such a heavy car.

I'm no expert, but I wonder why the heaviest part of the car seems to be the door. I have no idea why the door panel and metal is so thick and dense. I thought maybe it was just one faulty car at the autoshow. It was a problem the entire Mitsubishi booth seemed to share.

Style-wise the car just doesn't do it for me. It's too round and much too heavy looking. The cheap plastic treatment on the grille doesn't help matters either. And the wing on the back is ridiculous. It's not a space ship. And unless the wing is aerodynamically proven to provide downforce it just creates drag. Drag on a sports car like this means more wind resistance and slower speeds.

Cost is another issue. For around 26 grand at the same price you can get a Mustang GT or Camaro V-6. Both cars  have around 40 more horsepower. The Camaro especially trumpts the Eclipse because it has the same number of cylinders and does more with them.

Historically, there is one more reason Americans should object to buying ANYTHING from Mitsubishi. Remember that little dustup known as World War II? Well, it just so happens that Mitsubishi built the A-6 M Zero Fighter Plane. There's just one itsy bitsy little problem: That plane was used by the Japanese......to attack Pearl Harbor. I'm all for forgiving and forgetting but if they're going to sell us something made by a company that took American lives they could at least give us a quality car. Again, this is all just my humble opinion.

Too Many Mustangs

Sure, they look great and they are also pretty dang fast. But if you buy a Mustang GT you run the risk of being just another run of the mill cars on the street. The problem with the Ford Mustang lies in it's popularity. Seems like a weird thing to complain about. But hear me out. You just went out and dropped 25 grand on a new Mustang GT. Chances are you'll run into another GT of the same body style on the way back from the dealsership. Part of buying a muscle car is that you're supposed to feel special. In a Mustang, you feel like a kid that went out and bought the latest fashion fad and started wearing it months after everybody else. Granted, having a sense of community with other people that have the same model car is a good thing. But I personally prefer seeing another Trans Am every now and then as opposed to seeing one once every 25 minutes. Ford just doesn't do enough with paint, trim, body paneling or engine size variation to make one Mustang stand out from the crowd. It can still be done. But it usually takes alot more money and cosmetic things like hoodscoops that don't make that small 4.6 liter V-8 any faster. Ok, so maybe I'm a little biased being that I'm a GM guy. I'd rather have somebody roll up in a Mustang than some absurb Subaru WRX with a giant wing on it anyday. 

My Cross er.....Chrysler to Bear

For this blog I will focus on my personal hell that is the 2006 Chrysler Pacifica suv. This car has led to numerous profanity-laced diatribes from me. I hate this vehicle for several reasons. First off, it was a mistake for my family to purchase. There are two total people in my household. The vehicle has seven seats. Do the math, it doesn't add up. Appearance wise it's actually not bad for a vehicle of that sort. The positives however, end there. In spite of all wheel drive the thing still rides like a wooden rollercoaster. The tire quality from the factory is poor. Poor is being charitable to describe tire quality. They go flat after limited usage. The vehicle eats tires like a fatkid eats cupcakes. Any day that I'm forced to take the Chrysler I mourn. For those consumers that knock American cars this car makes an excellent target. It's too big to miss!

The car has 42000 miles. My Pontiac has 73000 yet is in much better shape. Six buttons in the Chrysler have had the neon already burn out in them for no discernible reason. It also surprises me with idiotic warning lights. For example, that says "gascap" even though the gascap is screwed on correctly. Also the neon text in this car is hard to read. I thought it said "sarsgaurd." What that means, I have no idea. The radio for some reason picks up the space between stations better than it does the actual stations. One must crank the volume to even hear the music.

Personally, the only reason I hate it stems from one incident. I had just spent four unsuccessful hours at a girlfriend's house. She invited me back to her house to watch Jaws. We ACTUALLY WATCHED JAWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So yeah, I was a bit upset. On the way home at 4 am, the Chrysler recieved a flat tire. The spare tire mechanism is an engineering nightmare. One must lower the tire by rotating a bolt. Endlessly. And it doesn't turn easily for a skinny fellow like me. I've had it out for the Chrysler ever since. Now, as far as cars go, I'm sure it could be worse. It could have engine problems or I could have to suffer the indignity of driving a Subaru. *Shudder.*